Monday, April 4, 2016

Never abdicate your throne!

The hardest thing about relationships is that we have to have them with other people! I'm not trying to be facetious, but let's face it, people are fallen, flawed, and fickle just like we are. And sometimes they are far worse. I've had my share of dealings with difficult people--at school, work, home, and sometimes on the road.  :-)  I must admit that the hardest relationships I've ever had have been in my marriages. Yes, I've been married twice. The first when I was 21 and it ended disastrously, and the second when I was 31.  I'm still married to the 2nd husband, but it was rough going in the beginning, and especially after I started following Jesus.

Why am I telling you this? Because I believe that dealing with a very difficult spouse or close family member is one of the hardest challenges we Christians face. Especially if that person is not a Christian or doesn't act like a Christian.

Recently I read the story of Abigail and David in 1 Samuel 25. What a wonderful love story!  But it didn't start out that way. Abigail was married to a monster named Nabal.  The Bible says he was "rough and evil in his doings" and "he is such a wicked man that one cannot speak to him."  When David and his warriors went to Nabal to ask for some food in return for protection and food they had already provided for Nabal's shepherds, he refused. Quite rudely, in fact. So, David gathered his warriors and marched to kill Nabal and all his men.

We don't know how Abigail ended up with such a loser. My guess is that it was an arranged marriage. Nabal was a very wealthy man and it says Abigail was "a woman of good understanding and beautiful". Back then women were pretty much stuck with the husbands they got.  In other words, Abigail was serving a life-sentence in the prison of her bad marriage.  You would think that her hopeless circumstances  would have caused her to become bitter, angry, cruel, and maybe even turn her back on God. But not Abigail.,

Abigail soon discovered that David was heading their way, so she quickly gathered bread, wine, sheep, figs, grapes, etc.. and loaded them all up on donkeys and headed out to meet David.  When she found him, she knelt by his feet and begged his forgiveness, taking the blame of her husband's actions on herself, and essentially prophesied over David that the Lord was with him and he would one day be king.  Say what? My first thought when I read this was why didn't she just allow David and his men to kill her husband? Wouldn't that be the end of all her troubles? What an easy way out!  And why take the blame on herself for her horrid husband?  But Abigail could not defy her God, nor the husband she'd vowed to respect and love. She was a God-fearing woman of immense integrity.

David was quite taken with her and turned his warriors away. The next day when Abigail told her husband what had happened (again, I wondered why)  he became helpless like a stone. Ten days later, it says "The Lord smote him and he died."   When David heard, he proposed to Abigail and took her as his wife. She went from being the wife of the worst scum on the earth to the wife of the soon to be King of Israel, a man after God's own heart. Amazing, romantic story!

You may or may not be facing a difficult relationship in your life at the moment. If you aren't, you probably will at some point. Let us all take a lesson from this incredible woman, Abigail. May our stories turn out as wonderful as hers!

Taken from F.B. Meyer (Through the Bible Day by Day) "Never let the evil disposition of one mate hinder the devotion and grace of the other. Never let the difficulties of your home lead you to abdicate your throne. Do not step down to the level of your circumstances, but lift them to your own high calling in Christ!"


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11 comments:

  1. Ahhhh ... this is good. A hard lesson though. A hard application when you're dealing with a difficult relationship. But very good. Thanks for the reminder. Oh to have that courage and faith! To not be affected by the negative people in life, but to be faithful in love. I'll be thinking about this example all day now. ;)

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  2. Mon Apr 4th,
    "Morning, MaryLu and Caroline".
    An excellent word you shared today, MaryLu. A word of hope and encouragement for sure.
    Thanks for sharing.
    Take care, and, God Bless, In Him, Brenda

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    1. Good morning to you too, Brenda! :)

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  3. Oh, that's a hard lesson to learn for sure! We can only imagine what she went through being married to that guy and yet she still respected him out of fear of the Lord.I'd be lying if I said I was inclined to be as gracious as Abigail was should I run into a guy like that. God forbid! lol But sacrifice is never learned the easy way. It's easy to talk about it...but harder in practice.:)
    Thanks for the great input, this is something to remember when faced with similar challenges!

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  4. Oh, that's a hard lesson to learn for sure! We can only imagine what she went through being married to that guy and yet she still respected him out of fear of the Lord.I'd be lying if I said I was inclined to be as gracious as Abigail was should I run into a guy like that. God forbid! lol But sacrifice is never learned the easy way. It's easy to talk about it...but harder in practice.:)
    Thanks for the great input, this is something to remember when faced with similar challenges!

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  5. Thank you for sharing this today... just what I needed to hear!

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  6. Thank you for sharing this today... just what I needed to hear!

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  7. I just read about David and Abigail...I love that story. She was one brave lady. Great post!

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  8. I just reread your article and it is not an easy thing to be as gracious as Abigail. In my walk with Christ I have had - what I call-- my SandPaper People-- walk awhile with me on my pathway. I always thought That I was the easiest person to get along with-- but maybe God thought otherwise and sent these SandPaper People to me. And like the sandpaper's job is to smoothe out the rough edges or hidden imperfections is what MY SandPaper People did. I find that over the years I think --HooRay. I am all smoothed out-- Wrong-- along comes another who just rubs you the wrong way. Or annoys you and then deep in your heart you know--God is still working in you. I have come to the conclusion when I feel that little attitude rearing its head that I need to change my attitude and look to my Lord and Savior and ask - what He wants me to learn.
    I thank God that He loves me enough to send SandPaper People to me--but I am thankful that I now can stop and think about why this person is a SandPaper Person and what are they going through and pray for you them. That is proberly the lesson I had to learn-- but Man -- sometimes it was very hard with those SandPaper People . Lots of πŸ™πŸ»πŸ™πŸ»πŸ™πŸ»on my part.

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  9. Hi everyone, sorry for the late response but I had my granddaughter the past 2 days. She's 2 and won't let me sit at my computer for more than a minute. LOL. Thanks for all your comments. "Sandpaper people". I love that, Elsie! It's so true. God uses difficult people (often in our own family) to mold and shape us to be more like Jesus. Hardest lesson on earth, in my opinion, and I still have very much to learn. Hugs All!

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