If you're like me, there's probably many things in your past that you aren't proud of. Since I spent 37 years without God, you can imagine how much trouble I got into during those years. I was extremely wounded from my childhood, young, attractive, self-centered, and very volatile. When I look back, I cringe at some of the memories and ask God, why, why didn't you rescue me sooner? Before I hurt so many people, myself included. Before I ruined lives and created so much regret? I often battle tremendous guilt over some of the things I've done. Even though I know Jesus has forgiven me of all of it. Not only forgiven, but forgotten. Boy, do I praise Him for that!
Yet, it occurred to me lately that there's no way I could write the type of stories I write, there's no way I could write the type of characters I write about: broken, sinful, wounded, self-centered, vain, desperate characters, unless I had the exact past that I have. I began to wonder if God hadn't allowed me to fall so far into the pit just for this purpose. He always had ahold of the rope but as long as I was willing to keep moving downward, He was going to let me, because in His divine knowledge, He already knew that He wanted me to be a writer, and He already knew exactly the type of stories He wanted me to write, to reach certain people that He had already chosen to read my books so that they would come closer to Him.
Isn't that mind-boggling?? His incredible wisdom and knowledge astounds me. Then, I began to realize that my difficult childhood was also part of the plan, because without that, I wouldn't have fallen so deep and drifted so far from God.
How often do we complain about our bad childhood, or our abusive friends, or tragedies that have happened to us. When in reality, if we would only trust God, we would eventually see that He had a Good plan in the end?
But it goes so much deeper than that. Even our sins, our failings, He can use for His glory! Like the recovered drug addict who now helps addicts or the woman who used to be a prostitute but who now loves Jesus and she helps get young girls off of the street by telling them God loves them and there's another way.
It blows my mind! So, whether your past is filled with tragedies, difficulties, or sin, or all of the above, rest assured, God allowed it all for a reason. Everything!! Even your mistakes. (That doesn't mean your sin is good or that God approved of it in any way!) So, seek God's forgiveness, learn from them and ask God to show you the future He wants to create from your past.
Tune in next week when I'll give my thoughts on the precious moment when God calls you to do that task He's planned for you to do since before you were born.