Monday, March 4, 2013

Need a Father?

What has happened to Fathers in this culture? Where are the good Dads? I'll grant you, there are a few here and there, sprinkled about society, but honestly, fatherhood, true fatherhood, seems to be on the decline.  What do I mean by a good father? Here's just a few things that come to mind

A good father
  • Puts his children before anyone and anything else
  • Protects his children with his own life
  • Provides for all his childrens' needs
  • Teaches his sons to be strong warriors 
  • Cherishes his daughters like princesses
  • Teaches both sons and daughters to be strong, independent, hardworking, responsible, people of integrity, honor, decency, courageous, secure in who God made them to be!
  • Teaches his kids about God, the meaning of life, the purpose, the way to salvation. 
  • Reads Scripture to his kids and studies God's Word with them
  • Guides and directs them down the right path
  • Disciplines in love when necessary
  • Spends time playing with them
  • Spends time listening to them.

A mother's job is equally important, but different. God calls fathers to do the leading and the teaching, to raise up Godly kids. It is the man's job to be the spiritual leader of the home.

Yet I see so few who are even doing half of what I've listed her. The result? Kids who grow up insecure, lost, lazy, confused, seeking meaning in what the world offers instead of where real life is found.

I grew up without a father. He was alive and around but he had no desire to see me or know me. For a young shy girl, that was devastating. I didn't realize it at the time, but I ended up being extremely insecure, had very little self-worth, had no idea who I was or what I was doing, and I craved a father's love so much, I sought it in a series of bad, damaging relationships.

Yet I see so many kids who have fathers at home, but their fathers are either abusive, neglectful, or really what I would call "The Provider" because that's all they do. They bring home the pay check that supports the kids.  I don't know which is worse. Not having a dad at all or having one who acted as though I didn't exist!  Then of course there are those who belittle and beat their children, which is abominable. Most of those kids grow up seriously messed up.

God knew the importance of fathers. He fashioned the family after his own existence as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father,from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name Ephesians 3:14-15

 God knew that many human fathers would fail their kids. It is a result of man's fall and the wickedness of our hearts.

Last week in church we sat behind a man and his daughter. She was probably around 13 and he was in his 40s. Several times during the service he would lean and tell her something and she would nod and smile. A few times they held hands. One time he leaned over and kissed the top of her head. Toward the end of the sermon, she snuggled up against him and he put his arm around her. Watching this from behind them, I nearly cried. I never knew a father's love or protection and the sight of such a tender display really touched me. But then I realized that I do have a Father. I've always had a Father. I just didn't recognize Him most of my life.

A father of the fatherless and a judge for the widows, Is God in His holy habitation. Psalm 68:5
The Lord protects the strangers; He supports the fatherless and the widow, But He thwarts the way of the wicked. Psalm 146:9

Yea, yea, you may say. God is my father... I've heard that before. He's everybody's father. And besides He's in heaven. I'm here. But that's not true. He is in you, and around you and everywhere. And He is uniquely your Dad. Why? Because He created you with His own hands before you were born. He fashioned you just like you are because He knew He would adore you!  He is your Dad! If you go back up and read the list of what a good Dad does, I'm sure you'll see that He does all that and More!!

Whether you had a good dad or a bad dad or no dad at all, I urge you to start thinking of God as your Dad. Start addressing him as Father, Dad, or Abba. When you're praying, picture Him wrapping His big Daddy arms around you like a father would a precious child, picture Him smiling with glee when He sees you, opening his arms wide so you can run into them, listening with rapt attention to what you are saying, and laughing when you laugh. He is a Father. He is the first Father, the only real Father, and the one true Father.

If you'd like to hear one young lady's struggle with having an absent father, click here.. you'll be glad you did. Her story really touched me! 


  1. Monday, March 4th,
    "Morning, MaryLu."
    Loved this post today -- another timely word in due season !
    Yes, "many" of the good Dads are sadly missing today from families, from society.
    A couple of weeks ago, our Pastor shared from a Statistic's Survey point: "That many Dads spend approximately 35 seconds a day -- holding, playing with, speaking with their daughters .... and hence, many a daughter grows up to go off and find her own "Dad figure", so desperately wanting to be loved" ... if you get my drift.
    I am both a widow, and an orphan (technically speaking) ... and I especially loved your last paragraph. Often, I imagine myself sitting on God's knees, with His strong arms wrapped around me, loving me -- and me calling Him -- Abba, Daddy.
    The VERY BEST Father any girl could ever have !!! For sure !!!
    Thanks for sharing, MaryLu ... great post.
    Take care, and, God Bless,
    In Him, Brenda

  2. MaryLu, you gave me goosebumps with this one.
    And may I say, Jesus gives the most warm and comforting hugs....

  3. Thanks Brenda and Debbie, this one touched me too! Only 35 seconds a day, Brenda.. Wow.. that really makes me sad. :-( I don't know how people get by in life without knowing the love of Father God!
    Love you both!

  4. Thanks for the post MaryLu! This one really touched me. My family has been going through tonnes of stuff, and actually my dad is in jail. We hope he is going to get out soon, and honestly I know he thought he was doing what was best for us, it wasn't. I have never been close to my dad just because, like you said, he is the provider. I was feeling down about my dad today, so this was a divine post!

  5. I really liked this post, MaryLu! It is indeed sad that father’s are forsaking the roles that God has given them. It is amazing at just how much impact sin has on us. Father’s start forsaking their roles, mother’s may rise up to fill the gap, which then leads to this whole gender role reversal which is so common today! But you are right, we have a Father in heaven who cares for us. He sent His Son to die so that we may be forgiven. And while this life may be full of sorrows, we know that all this is just temporary. We have hope!

  6. Beautiful, MaryLu. I love the list at the beginning of the post. I'm so thankful for my Father in heaven. I have literally felt those loving arms of protection around me during an awful time in my life. Nothing else could have pulled me through - I felt wrapped, covered, protected and carried through this time. Praise God for He is Who He is. Father God. Hope for the hopeless. Abba.
    Thanks again MaryLu for the insights in your post. I'm sure they touched many people reading, all to God's glory. :)

  7. A beautiful post today.

    While I never really had an earthly father involved in my life, I have been truly blessed to watch my husband be the kind of father you described above. It often brings tears to my eyes to watch him with our daughters and makes me thankful to my Heavenly Father that our girls have what I didn't. It's almost as if He's restoring the years I lost.

    Again, thanks for the beautiful, if difficult, post.

  8. I'm so glad this post touched you all and blessed you in some way! I truly believe that even though some of us may have had good dads, we all desperately need the love of Father God. Once we truly believe and grasp that love, so many of our own fears and insecurities wash away. :-)